I'm not sure what happens, but suddenly it's July. Suddenly it's July and it's hot and I have no money and I don't have a home and I'm tired constantly and I drink more coffee than water and my days go by with little nourishment.

Suddenly these things happen.

I spend yesterday sweeping and mopping and lifting and moving and carrying and setting and laying and thinking and sighing and smoking.

That's a day. The last day of June. The last day I'll spend in that horrid townhouse.

But where to now? Where to live now? Where to work and what to do now? How to fill my life now? How to be happy now?

How can I wake feeling so defeated?

My bed has betrayed me.