This morning doesn’t greet me with very many words.  Very many ideas.

    My body quivers beneath the comforter.

    And I’m still so lost.  I’m reminded throughout the day.  During the transitions between one task to another.  One distraction to the next distraction.  It pops in.  Drops by.  Says hello.

    Yesterday it’s while I’m laying on my bed, listening to muzak through my cell phone as I wait to speak with the next representative of Maryland’s EZ pass so I can drive through the Fort McHenry Tunnel daily without bleeding three dollars each way.

I’m sweating.  My brow is glazed.  My back is moist.  My ear hot.

And I get the feeling I’m not a member of reality.  I delve into the surreal.  I check it out.  Fish around.  Experiment with the idea that I am a foreigner in this world.  That I honestly do not belong.  That my perception and reception of the common and most basic understandings, the general acceptances the greater population has agreed upon in this plane of existence we all find ourselves in is slightly skewed.  Manipulated.  Distorted.

And it doesn’t excite or unnerve me.  It doesn’t elicit much response at all.  I just continue to lay there and listen to how valued my call is.  That I matter.  That someone cares about me.

It’s so hard to believe these things.

It is quite nice to hear them though.  So I stay on the line.  

I make friends with an audio recording.

Wednesdays.